I used to think the worst critical comment was: "Youll never make it in the marine corps". But, even then, there's motivation to prove them wrong. But lately, its even worse. "Dont join the Marine Corps" This is not my peers. These are comments from every member of my family. Every Adult in the Community. If you asked me why I joined, I couldnt tell you, because there are so many reasons, alot which cant be expressed into words. But now constantly being bugged about something I cant explain, Im...feeling kind of stranded. Ive only got 5 or so months till I ship out too. ack, wheres the worlds motivation?

Thinking about Church. Sure I hate going purely because its partly biased partly selfish, because I know people there, but Im not doing enough. I mean, I pray, if you wanna call it that, but Im not doing anything . I need something, I need to be a part of something.

Today was the official first football game of the season.
Let's backtrack a few days.....Ahhh sunny days , crisp nights, lots of laughs....suddenly shattered by one swift move - - my senior year of high school. My classes are horrible, I'm so ever afraid of my English teacher, In my favorite subject of all time. My Lunch Buddies arent in my lunch(last year I was thrown out of my table and befriended these awesome outcasts of the outcasts. Sigh...) I get made fun of by little kids. Yeah, I'm loving it!
Marching band season has begun , we are so freaking unprepared, Im playing quads for the first time, our director thinks everything is just going to magically come together, which it doesn't, ....>>Fast forward to today>>... My ride forgot me....The Guard is driving me insane, our football team got skunked by 43 points, ..... thats basically it. I'm severely stressed out.
I had all of this anger but it wasnt really at anyone. It wasnt everyone either. I guess I just am mad because people don't use their heads. That's why I like Taking it Global. Its not a pathetic room of people trying to get laid. Its real people, trying to improve the world, trying to do their own thing. Its awesome.
People that anger me have no respect for other people, they can be so selfish and rude for a good joke. I like to joke around, maybe too much. But I do limit myself. I'n softspoken unless Im around good friends. You dont have to be loud and obnoxious. Its so.....unneccessary.
I dunno.

its the 1st day of school, or was. Same old first day routine. Hi my name is ... Im your teacher... i expect you to do this.... i warn you not to do this....Beck Bleck Belck. I felt soft spoken and unheard today, as always. My best good friend, he is a junior, I dont see him all day, ill probably sit alone at lunch. Ack. Doesnt look too good, and I forgot how long school is.

Schools back in session in 2 days. It's a little scary, especially since i have to analyze a book i haven't even finished on the first day. Summer has been a long, good , tense time. Ive been working off and on, and hanging out with my friends, of which I'd give anything to do just that any time of day. Marching band has begun and i need to work alot on my quads. But anyhow, back to cold nights lots of homework, anger at people, not feeling good enough and my best friend = the 5th wheel.